


Gilded Cage

by MorganLeFaye



Series: DA: O [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Past Rape/Non-con, Romantic Fluff, Underage Kissing, no beta anymore/ not that it made a difference, please read the notes on chapter 15
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:01:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 18,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28394307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganLeFaye/pseuds/MorganLeFaye
Summary: This is my Origin Story for Morgan and Aedan Cousland, this Origin (at least for Morgan) is far from canon.
Relationships: Alistair/Female Cousland (Dragon Age), Male Cousland/Roderick Gilmore
Series: DA: O [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079534
Kudos: 3





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever attempt to write a story.  
> It is not yet complete, but I wanted to get it out now, because I was afraid that I would not publish it at all when I wait any longer.
> 
> I hope you enjoy

“Your feet have to be further apart!” And you have to go more through your knees, if you stand like that and an attacker comes you will be immediately overrun, no matter how good your sword arm might be!

"And yet I am better than most of the soldiers here!" Said Morgan in an sarcastic tone; "Why don't you train the others?"  
"Very simple!", I am your trainer at the request of your father Milady and also your best friend, which automatically legitimises me to tell you with all honesty if you make mistakes! "Rory grinned all over his face.

Rory and Morgan have been friends since he came to Highever when he was 12 to be trained as a squire at the castle. Now he was 24 and already a Knight, "Ser Gilmore", he still couldn't get used to it, but he was

proud of his title as he worked hard to get it.

"Are you listening to me?" Morgan asked .  
"Sorry, Milady, I was thinking."

"I asked when you would finally stop talking to me like that? When we are alone you don't need to be so formal!"  
“Not at all, I am now a knight and you are now officially the heiress of the Terynir of Highever, because your brother is going to Antiva with Orianna and Oren. It would be extremely disrespectful of me if I would "not" address you formally! "

"Good!" Morgan looked at him disapprovingly, since her father had made her his heir a few weeks ago, everyone around her started to act very strangely, as if she were a completely different person now. She hated it!  
She just wanted everything to be the way it was before. But she also knew that this would remain an unfulfilled wish.  
In the next weeks and months she would very often be confronted with what her new role would be within Ferelden and soon the first inquiries about possible marriages would also arrive.

She said goodbye to Rory and went in the direction of the keep so she could change her clothes, since she was no longer "only" commander of the troops, she now had to wear dresses whenever she was not doing combat training.

She tried to stick to it, at least when there were guests at the castle.

"AHHH, there you are my daughter!" Said Teyrn Cousland as he approached Morgan. "I've been looking for you!" "A raven recently came from Denerim, the king asks for your presence at court."  
"... And before you ask, military as well as private reasons were given why your presence is desired."  
“I have already arranged everything so that you can leave as soon as possible.” “Furthermore, I would like that you don't meet Ser Gilmore that often, there are very explicit rumours going around at the moment.

I know that these rumours are not true, but they could still damage your reputation! "

"If they only knew!" The moment she said it, Morgan wished she had kept quiet, she didn't want to say those words out loud, it was too late now.

Bryce Cousland put his hands on Morgan's shoulders and looked into her eyes, "Do you have to tell me anything or maybe some confessions?"

"No father, it's really just a rumour, “I” am not in love with Ser Gilmore."

“Can I go now, father? I would like to change my clothes. "

"Of course, go ahead"


	2. What is going on?

Two days later Morgan was on her way to Denerim, she was able to convince her parents that light luggage is absolutely sufficient, so they only needed an additional horse to carry the luggage and could therefore travel twice as fast, as the rest of the luggage would then arrive a few days later.

"About 2 hours to Denerim, would you like to rest before we arrive Milady?"

“No, I want to arrive as soon as possible. You should never let the king wait unnecessarily! ”She spoke the second part in a joking tone so that it was clear that she was not serious about this statement.

Her soldiers usually knew this, but at the moment due to the new situation she was rather unsure whether the soldiers would still see her as their commander as before, or rather as the fragile little princess that must be protected under all circumstances.

All she knew was that no matter how others saw her, she was still the same person as before.

She had spent the whole day thinking about what had caused the king to call for her; from a military point of view she had not yet achieved any great successes, which is rather difficult in peacetimes, except for a few skirmishes with a large band of bandits there was not much to do except practices for emergencies.

What bothered Morgan even more was the "private" part, that part worried her even. She actually already knew what was going to happen. She would be married to someone who would bring political advantage to the king.

She was the best unmarried match right now and whoever would become her husband would greatly raise in power.

She only hoped that the man the king had chosen for her would be of a jovial and gentle character.

Maybe she was just too worried?

There have been many rumours including that the king has already been unfaithful a few times, and that the queen was barren. There were also rumours that most of the nobles did not want Cailan to be king and that he only became king because he was a Theirin.

Many wanted her father to be king instead of Cailan because Cailan was considered childish and dreamy.

In any case, she would soon find out what the king was like and she would also find out what he had planned for her.

When they rode through the gate in Denerim, they rode straight to the palace, Morgan would spend a few days in the palace and once everything was settled she would move into her family's estate, hopefully.

She was already expected, Arl Eamon was standing on the stairs when she dismounted and was now coming down the stairs.

"The king is already waiting for you!"

"Yes, I already thought so!" Morgan replied kindly, but with an unmistakably cynical tone.

Arl Eamon had known Morgan since she was little. Morgan had been very often to Denerim with her father, only in the last few years this became less and less as Morgan took on more and more duties and responsibilities in the Terynir.

He knew that Morgan had already analysed every single possibility.

And also that she is probably very worried.

He was now standing next to her and putted his hand on her shoulder. “It's not as bad as you might imagine! I Promise!" Arl Eamon made a sweeping gesture with a slight bow to show Morgan that she should follow him.

"You are taking me to the King at once?" Morgan asked puzzled.

“Yes,” Arl Eamon replied, “Cailan was very explicit when he said „at once“. He also wants to get this over with as soon as possible. "

"I smell like a whole stable from the trip!" Morgan replied.

“Yes, that's true, but believe me, there are worse things than smelling like a horse stable. We are currently hosting a delegation from Orlais, every single person in this delegation “bathes” in a different perfume; believe me if you have to smell it all day, a horse stable is a welcome change! "

"Hihihihi!" Morgan couldn't help but laugh at it, her father had often told her that Orlesians always exaggerate "everything", always use too much of everything, as perfume, spices in wine and food, and the Orlesian style of clothing was extremely impractical and exaggerated. Morgan had tried walking in Orlesian shoes once and was lucky that Ser Gilmore caught her. She didn't like this fashion, but she didn't have to.

They were now standing in front of a door. She was only minutes away from her fate. At that moment she lost her courage and her body prepared to flee. It took all of her willpower to stand still. She looked to the left, down the corridor she had come from, the guards already blocked the way; the king really wanted to speak to her undisturbed. The corridor to her right looked similarly hopeless.

At that moment Eamon knocked on the door, opened the door, and mildly pushed Morgan into the room. The door was immediately closed behind her.

She found this all very strange and ominous and really didn't know what to think of all this.

She looked around and found that she was not in a study, but in a bedroom. Now she panicked, she ran to the door and tried to open it, but the door was locked. She was trapped.

She heard a door open softly, then a few steps and the door closed again; Then a rustle .. Someone was standing behind the tapestry, it must have covered a door and she hadn't thought about looking, this door had apparently been open.

She grabbed at her hip, there she had a dagger, should anything happen, she would not let it happen without defending herself!

“You don't need your dagger Milady or Eamon would have taken it from you.” Morgan knew this voice, it was grown up now but still unmistakable, it was Cailan's voice. The King's Voice!

“Sorry for the very unusual way this meeting is going, there are good reasons for it that I cannot explain to you now. I've written down everything you need to know. ”

He took a scroll from under his cloak. Morgan could see that this scroll had several pages.

"I ask you to read this, when you are done with it, burn the scrolls!"

"I will now say goodbye and this meeting never took place!"

"Eamon will pick you up for an official audience with me tomorrow!"

The king disappeared through the same door he had come in.

A short time later the locked door opened and Eamon came into the room with a small army of servants who were preparing the room.

He gave Morgan a key and informed her that a bath was being prepared for her in the next room, after which he disappeared again.

A bath would be great, but she didn't want to leave the scroll unattended while the servants were still running all over the place.

Two of the male servants pulled the tapestry aside and the door was now visible.

After about 30 minutes, all the servants were gone and Morgan went into the next room to enjoy her bath.She had taken the scroll with her so that she could keep an eye on it; she wanted to read the letters after she had bathed, although she was very curious.

She heard noises in the bedroom;She forgot to lock the door!

She got slowly and quietly out of the bath tub and draped a linen cloth around her body and walked in the direction of the door that led to her bedroom, in passing she pulled the dagger out from under her travelling clothes.

She had learned to move almost without any noise, she was now at the door and opened it as quietly as she could.


	3. Seriously?

This passage was neither illuminated by the room in which she was nor by the bedroom, so she was practically invisible.   
The door was ajar now and Morgan saw a shadow in the room. It had to be a man by the height and stature.   
Morgan wasn't afraid to fight against men, most of them she could defeat with ease.   
Unfortunately she now realized that he was wearing armour; Medium armour made of leather reinforced with metal. That meant that she could go only for the head and neck with her dagger and she was as good as naked. She looked around and found nothing useful with which to tie the linen cloth to her body. 

She peeked through the gap again and saw that the figure was approaching the door behind which she was standing. 

"Damn!" 

She pressed herself against the wall as much as possible, so that when the door opens, nobody notices that she is behind it, but she is also not trapped and unable to move.   
The door opened wide, the man remained in the doorway, at least Morgan suspected this from the movements. She held her breath to not give herself away. He apparently looked around, after a short pause, he stepped further into the room.   
He was now standing next to the tub and bent down to pick up her travelling clothes. He looked slightly confused; "Now I just have to find who belongs in this clothes!" He muttered to himself, while scratching his head questioningly. 

She crept carefully out from behind the door, she would jump him in the back and then overwhelm him. She was almost behind him now, only one more step and she could overwhelm him, but that didn't happen, she had made a noise, he turned around and immediately grabbed her hands.   
The hand that held the dagger was twisted, so she had to let go of the dagger. With his body weight, he caused a slight twist and both of them fell to the ground. 

Morgan hit the back of her head on the hard stone floor and saw only a shimmer for split seconds. 

"Well there we have the owner of the clothes!" Said the man in a very amused tone.   
I actually expected my future wife to be less murderous; And women are said to be gentle beings.   
Next time I would recommend poison, because you can rarely defend yourself against it fast enough. 

Morgan had heard and understood the spoken words, but was just too dazed to react. The man who threw her to the ground was lying on top of her, holding her arms together over her head. 

He looked her in the eyes and had a big grin on his face, he even seemed amused. 

"Wife? What? ”Morgan was confused, what was this guy talking about? 

"Em, well, that I'm in the wrong room is rather unlikely; the description I got from you is correct, although I have to say that you are much prettier than described; You must be Morgan Cousland then and indeed my soon to be wife. Haven't you read the letters yet? Tsktsktsk an impudence, what would the king think if he knew? 

And the whole time he had that grin on his face, was he making fun of her? About the king? About the whole situation? 

“And since I have now humorously covered up the situation with my daft brilliance, maybe we should move on to solving the current problems. “ he said.

"I'm all ears?" Said Morgan. 

"First of all, I would suggest that you get off the ground, otherwise you will catch a cold!". "If you promise not to attack me, I'll let go of your arms." 

Morgan nodded in agreement and he let go of her arms as promised. 

"Umm" he swallowed hard. "The next step is a little more complicated" he blushed all over his ears.   
"You, uh .., you lost something in the fall and I'm afraid it's out of reach."

Morgan blushed, now she too realized what he was talking about, she was completely naked! 

"I'm going to close my eyes now and then slowly get up and turn around so you can cover yourself." 

As soon as he began to push his weight up off her body, she slid backwards across the floor to get as much distance from him as possible.   
He was now standing upright and, as said he turned around.   
Now she got up and went over to the small table to take a new linen cloth. She draped it around her body as tightly as possible and slipped behind the screen.

"You can open your eyes again!" Said Morgan as she stood behind the screen. 

"Would you tell me your name then? You already know mine. ” Morgan asked curiously. 

“My name is Alistair and as I mentioned before, I am the one Cailan has chosen for you as your husband. You have to give him one thing, he has a sense of humor! ”  
Morgan frowned, this man was one of the weird sort. 

“I will now leave you so that you can read the letters in peace. I will come to you again in a few hours, then you will also know why I came here in the first place! See you later! “He was almost out of the bathroom when he turned around again.   
“I promise I'll knock first! One murder attempt a day is enough for me! ”And again he had that grin on his face.


	4. Decisions

She got dressed as fast as she could, who knows who else would come into her room without being asked. 

She lay down on the chaise longue in front of the fireplace, she was about to make herself comfortable when there was a knock on the door. 

It couldn't be Alistair because he had only been gone for about half an hour and the situation was probably just as embarrassing for him, so he would probably keep the promised "few hours". 

"Come in!" She had now sat up straight when Eamon came in, he didn't look very happy.   
“I heard what happened! I'm really sorry! ”Eamon protested. 

"Nothing bad happened, it was just a little embarrassing!" Morgan was already quite tired and therefore just wanted to end the subject so that she could finally read these ominous letters. 

Eamon looked puzzled but said nothing more. "I have something to eat for you!" As he said this, Eamon beckoned a few servants in, who distributed the food on the table. 

Has the palace always been so hectic? Morgan made the decision that she would move into her family's estate as soon as possible. 

When the servants and Eamon were gone, Morgan sat down at the table with the letters and began to read them carefully while she savoured the many little hors d'oeuvre and other goodies. 

When she finished reading she went to the fireplace and tossed letter after letter in as she was told.   
Then she dropped to her knees and started crying. What was written in the letters was disturbing and she knew enough about politics to know that what was written was true.   
The king actually wanted her to marry Alistair, but he had given her the opportunity to refuse. 

She had thought about what would happen if she refused. 

Some time later there was another knock on the door.   
She went to the door and opened it. Alistair stood before her, this time in fine, noble clothing.   
He took her hand and kissed it. "Good evening Milady." 

She moved to the side to let him in and then closed the door.   
She indicated that he should sit down. Morgan sat next to him.   
He looked very tense, after everything she had read about Alistair, she was no longer surprised about his behavior before, and his current behavior was understandable.   
As he himself admitted, he had completely covered the situation before with humor, but he didn't seem to be able to manage it now. 

Morgan suspected that the reason for this was the seriousness of the situation and she hadn't made up her mind yet, at least not officially.   
He hadn't grown up as a nobleman, he knew nothing about power games among nobles and all the frauds and wangle that went with them. Lying and cheating to secure their own gain was a very common sport amongst nobles. 

She felt sorry for him, they have both become the pawns in a game of politics, but she had the advantage that she knew how to move, that was probably the reason why she was chosen for Alistair.  
If Cailan did die, his half-brother would take the throne and Morgan would become queen. Morgan knew at least in theory how to rule and could then much more than only support Alistair. 

But that was exactly what she never wanted. 

Her thoughts were interrupted when Alistair spoke to her.   
"Have you made up your mind?" He asked. 

"Yes I have. I will marry you. If that is your wish too! "   
She didn't know exactly what to do now, she was completely inexperienced in such things.   
He took her hand between his hands. "I hope neither of us has to regret this." After saying that, he got up and left the room. 

Morgan was very tired and went to bed immediately. But she couldn't sleep that night.


	5. young love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter is really short. I am not able atm to write about love and such because of personal reasons. The problem is, well this story will go just there now. So I tried to write but couldn't get anything useful up to now.
> 
> I didn't decide yet if I just wait until I can continue this, or maybe start a new Origin, there are enough to choose from.  
> We'll see.

"Did you sleep well?" Rory opened his eyes.  
"Yeah, but not enough!" Came in reply.  
"Awww, still tired from this morning?" Aedan straddled Rory's lap and kissed him tenderly.  
My parents just left for Morgan's wedding in Denerim.  
“Don't worry, I gave them our present for the bride and groom! And my father had taken me aside today; I should greet you from father and you can sleep in my room as long as they are gone. Father just didn't know if and how to tell mother that I will probably never father grandchildren. " Aedan grinned.  
"W ..- W- what? Your father knows about us? ”“ How? ” 

"Chill out! It's all good. And right now I'm the lord here! And Lord Aedan Cousland would now like to hug his lover and fall asleep next to him! "  
"Just falling asleep?" "Are you sure?" Rory raised his brow.  
"Cuddling?"  
Rory laughed, grabbed Aedan's waist, and rolled onto his side with him.  
He pulled him close and kissed him passionately.  
"I love you!"  
"Forever!"


	6. I must admit: I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgan gives in to her feelings.  
> How far will she go?

Morgan had finally arrived at her family's estate after a long day at the war council. She just wanted to eat something, maybe take a bath to relax and then go to sleep because she had to attend the war council again tomorrow. 

Alistair was already waiting for her in the entrance hall, she had promised him to practice dancing with him because he couldn't dance. There is nothing you can do about it, she thought, she has to go through it today! She sighed. He took her in his arms as a greeting, he'd been doing this for a few days now. They had been living together on the property for four months now, and Morgan felt familiarity that was slowly creeping in, which was a good sign. 

Matty the caretaker for the Cousland estate in Denerim came into the entrance hall: “The meal is ready, my lady! There is turnip stew with bacon! "   
Morgan followed Matty into the kitchen. Matty knew that turnip stew was her favourite. Basically she preferred to eat middle class.   
Morgan sat down at the table and began to eat, she was starving. 

"How was the war council today?" Alistair asked before putting a spoonful of stew in his mouth.   
“The lords and ladies are only concerned about their own gain and only want to provide troops if it is worthwhile for them. The only good thing is that the North has teamed up and stands behind Cailan, as well as the Terynir Gwaren and the Arling of Redcliffe. "   
“Do you know more about the dark spawn yet?” Matty asked.   
“No, unfortunately not, just what the grey wardens have reported so far. The Grey Wardens fear that there is another blight. The lords and ladies do not believe this. That is actually the whole problem. For my part, I prefer to listen to the experts in this case! "Morgan looked annoyed and put a spoonful of stew into her mouth before continuing:" I sent a message to Highever today to ready our troops as soon as possible, so when they are needed, we can move south as quickly as possible." 

Morgan quietly finished the rest of her stew without being further bothered while Alistair and Matty continued talking.   
As she brought the next spoon to her mouth, she watched Alistair and paused. She thought about what she felt more and more in his presence in the last few days, she knew of course that she had fallen in love, she just didn't know how and why, these feelings were just there.   
She tried to ignore them as best as she could. She was afraid to let allow these feelings. As a well-trained Warrior and commander, she knew that the presence of emotions can be used as leverage against her. Unfortunately, she and Alistair were in exactly such a situation, or more precisely, they could get into such a situation at any moment.   
In such situations, feelings are more of a disadvantage or even a weakness. She knew if she would surrender to these feelings that there was no going back, she would no longer be able to suppress or ignore them. She didn't know what to do. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Morgan was suddenly pulled away from her thoughts,she must have been staring at Alistair the whole time. The blush rose quickly in her face, how embarrassing!   
The entire time Alistair was looking at her with a warm smile that made her blush even more.   
She just wanted to get away, this situation was extremely uncomfortable for her.   
She got up and turned to face the door. She wanted to take the first step to run out of the kitchen but was held back by a hand. She was withdrawn and landed in Alistair's arms which she held back. 

"Please don't go!" He put a hand on her cheek and stroked her with his thumb. He still had that warm smile on his face, which was now changing into something else, she could now see the desire in his eyes while he came closer towards her. His lips touched hers, very gently and carefully, shyly.   
A hurricane was raging in her head, she wanted to fall into his arms, wanted to be kissed, she even wanted to return the kiss, but her mind was tugging at her and didn't want to give up yet.   
She started to cry, she could no longer hold back her feelings, they seized her like a storm surge.   
He pressed her even tighter, as tight as her armour would allow, and now kissed her much more deeply. 

Any resistance Morgan could muster up until now crumbled into his embrace, her knees went weak and she threatened to lose her footing.   
Alistair caught her and supported her. His lips parted from hers and he looked at her questioningly, anything she could say would destroy the moment, so she was silent and now kissed him in return.

Morgan put her arms behind his neck, she yearned for this and so much more, she felt like a woman like she hadn't for a long time, she felt wanted, desired.   
She loosened her lips from his and looked at him as she stroked the hair on the back of his neck.   
She smiled at him, then let her hand slide from the back of his neck onto his chest and let it rest there. She felt his heartbeat. 

Let's go upstairs, then I can take off my armour and my parents' bedroom is big enough to practice dancing there, so I don't have to change my clothes. 

She pulled away from his embrace and took one of his hands and pulled it lightly to show him that he should follow.   
As soon as they got to her bedroom, Morgan immediately began to loosen the buckles and straps on her armour, at least the ones she could reach by herself.   
Alistair stood behind her and untied all connections on the back and then helped her out of her armour. 

He stepped up to her from behind and hugged her above the waist and kissed the back of her neck, which was exposed by her updo hairstyle that she wore at court.   
He heard a soft groan as his lips touched her neck, he hugged her tighter and his hand wandered up towards her well formed breasts. Morgan caught his hands on their way up, "Weren't we going to practice dancing?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could continue the writing on this chapter quicker than I had thought, so here it is!


	7. That wasn't Dancing!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were supposed to dance...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to rate this whole work E because there are some chapters with explicit content, therefor I will post the "E part " seperately.  
> Unfortunately this is then a very short chapter.  
> All E rated Chapters for this Origin Story are in : Gilded Cage -E-

They both went next door to the bedroom that was normally used by her parents when they lived here, this room has always been half a ballroom.  
The room hadn't been used for a very long time, Morgan opened all the curtains on the windows, there wasn't much daylight left, but she wanted to let as much light as possible into the room.  
Alistair stood in the middle of the room and watched Morgan as she pulled the curtains. In fact, he was staring at her body the whole time. Her legs were very muscular, which was normal because of her combat training.  
However, he was surprised at her beautiful round bottom, he would have expected that it would also be rather muscular. He wanted to do a lot of other things that would involve her bum now instead of a dance class. He sighed. 

She came up to him now, now he understood why she wanted to stay up here immediately "because otherwise she would have to change her clothes"; The shirt she wore under the armour was torn from the collar to the middle of her body. As lining for the armour this was still reasonable, as a piece of clothing it was no longer quite so.  
A lot of what is normally hidden was visible through the tear, it wasn't that she was standing naked in front of him, but only a small movement with the hand to both sides was missing to let him see.  
He swallowed hard. Did she do this on purpose?

She now stood in front of him and smiled at him. "I go back to my room for a moment, the needles in my hair stick into my skin!" She walked past him towards the door. Was he just imagining it, or was she swinging her hips a little more than usual?


	8. Bad feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair and Morgan were intimite.  
> Morgan needs to tell Alistair something, she just don't know how.

She opened her eyes, she felt a bit dizzy and it took a few moments for her to clear her head to realize where she was and what had happened. Her head rested on Alistair's shoulder, she could feel his heartbeat and could hear his snoring.

Under other circumstances she would consider herself lucky, but there was one thing that she should have told Alistair by now but never did.

Morgan wasn't a coward but this burden affected more people than just herself. She tried the whole time to figure out how he might react when she told him but she was none the wiser yet.

She left Alistair's side as carefully as she could to not wake him up, she needed some fresh air and maybe a drink.

She picked up her clothes as she tiptoed out of the room. As she closed the door behind her next to the door she found a little table with some food and drinks. So Matty already knows, that means all servants knew by now.

She sighed, she should have known that nothing happens in this estate without Matty being aware of it.

She dressed herself before she walked down the hall because she would be visible through the banister from downstairs. She entered her room and undressed herself to put on more comfortable clothes as loose pants and a simple shirt.

She wrote a letter and a note, the note was for Matty that he send a courier with the letter to the palace.

She would not be at the palace today, she needed some time to clear her head. Morgan knew that Alistair at least wouldn't be pleased but she didn't know with whom of the involved persons.

She walked out of her room and down the stairs into the kitchen. Matty was already there.

As Morgan entered the kitchen he looked at her with a big smirk on his face, now she was absolutely sure that he knew.

“I have here a letter that need to be send to the palace as soon as possible! I will take a break from court for today.”

“I will send it at once my lady!” Matty said with still that smirk on his face and left the kitchen.

Morgan wasn't hungry, she would skip her breakfast today. She reached up to the shelf with the booze, she really wanted a drink.

She was just about to drink when she was interrupted; “Don't you think this is a bit early for that?” Alistair asked.

“Yes it is and I don't care!” came as a respond and she downed her drink.

Alistair came closer to her and took her in his arms, he stood behind her and rested his chin on her shoulder. “Was it really that bad?” he asked with a humourous voice.

“I don't drink because of that! I need to tell you something very important that I should have done before, because I know that no one else will. I just don't know how and I am afraid of how you might react.” Morgan took a deep breath.

“So I wanted to get drunk and just blurt it out, pass out and wake up hours later and maybe without ruining everything.”

She felt how tears started forming in her eyes, she tried to hold them back but to no avail. Alistair pulled her closer than before after he gently turned her around.

She wrapped her arms around him and gave in to her feelings and started weeping bitterly. The whole time Alistair stroked her back tenderly to comfort her. Alistair wondered what this all was about. He would know soon.

After some time the tears ceased and Morgan slowly calmed down. She wiped away the tears with the sleeve of her shirt and took some deep breaths.

“I am so done with all of it!” Morgan screamed. She has gone from saddened to death to furious in seconds. Morgan started ranting and raving about the court and politics furthermore about that everyone expects from her just because she is a woman to smile and nod. “If they want a fight, they will get one!” With those words she ended her ranting.

Morgan was never good in dealing with emotions since her 16th birthday so she normally locked them out completely.

“Please remind me that I never get on your bad side!” Alistair said. He pushed her chin up a bit and kissed her. He hugged her and he immediately noticed how she relaxed in his embrace. He stroked her soft brown hair he kissed her forehead and looked straight in her eyes, “everything ok again?” he asked.

She sighed, “no, but I won't lash out again any time soon!” 

"Well that's a start!" he replied.

They stood there for several minutes and Morgan relaxed more and more.

“We should go to the salon, we can talk there without hindering the kitchen staff that stands behind the door and eavesdrop!” Morgan said with a smirk while she was looking at the door.

She walked in that direction and opened the door and there they were, all of them! “We have here very curious staff it seems, so if you want to know anything about me, you should ask them!” Morgan explained mockingly.

You could see that the staff felt caught, some of them even blushed. “Well I would be more careful the next time!” With those words and that same smirk from before she walked out the kitchen to the salon, Alistair followed.

When they both were in the salon she closed the door and sat down in one of the heavy and very comfortable armchairs and gestured Alistair with her hand to do the same.

He sat down and looked at her, she was very nervous he could see it in her eyes, whatever she needed to tell him it was not small and she rather wouldn't tell him if she had the choice, so he braced himself for what was to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -


	9. I am not me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgan tells Alistair what had happen to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry, but I had to raise this work from T to M.

_It happens when I was 16, that's now nearly 4 years ago. My father organised a birthday party for me. I didn't know why because I didn't felt that special with 16 but he made it a big event for everyone to see._

_All nobles and their children were there, especially the potential husbands, and the king!_

_Everyone was shocked because of course is the king invited to such events, but it is most likely more of an obligation and the king normally doesn't accept those, but he did._

_I wasn't excited because I was always a person that preferred silence and privacy above parties and gossip. So I tried the whole evening to avoid conversations with everyone, it didn't worked out obviously because I was the reason they were there. In the evening there was dancing and music and every son of a noble wanted to dance with me, Cailan too. So I danced the whole evening, mostly with Cailan._

_I always got along with Cailan when we were much younger. My father took me often with him to Denerim so I thought he just wanted to be nice. After that night I am unsure what to think._

_After some time I really cannot say how late it was, I was a bit tired and wanted to go outside to catch some air._

_So I walked to one of the servants and asked for something to drink. On this evening I wasn't allowed to drink anything that had alcohol in it, so it was water or heavily watered wine._

_I took the watered wine and left the hall to take a stroll around the keep._

_A few moments later Cailan was behind me also with a drink and we walked and talked alongside each other. It was as far as I recognize a nice and absolutely normal conversation._

_We walked into the garden and from that moment as we sat down I cannot remember anything._

_I woke up and was in bed, I was naked and not covered. I smelled sweat and wine._

_It took me some moments to realize that I wasn't in my room. I looked beside me Cailan was lying there also naked. I didn't know what to do in that moment. My thoughts were running between utter horror and disbelief. I took one of the bedsheets and covered myself._

_I felt terrible, now I know that it was a hangover but at that time I never had one so I couldn't tell then. I tried to get up but my head felt like it would explode when I not lay down again, so I did. I wanted to get away from there, from him, from this situation, but I couldn't take the pain and dizziness on top of the nausea._

_Cailan started moving next to me. Please don't wake up! Don't turn around! I could fell the blush rising in my face. I was mortified! I just wanted to disappear._

_I looked to my left he had his back to me, he rolled over on his back he was moaning so I guess he wasn't feeling any better as I did. He pinched his nose paired with more moaning. He turned his head to me, at first he obviously didn't realize what has happened, then his eyes widened, the realization kicked in._

_He reached out to me and I backed away, I didn't want to be touched, because of my condition I lost my balance and fell from the edge of the bed and hitted the stone floor with my head. Then it went dark._

_I heard shuffling and someone rummaging shadows of persons dancing before my eyes. They were talking to me, asking questions, yelling orders but I couldn't understand nor answer or even react on anything of it._

_Again everything went black._

_The next time I opened my eyes, I was in my room, my parents were sitting on chairs next to my bed. I could see that my mother had cried a lot, my father looked worried and angry._

_My parents told me that I had slept for nearly 4 days without waking up._

_The following details are the accounts of others that told me different things, I cannot say what of it is the truth._

_No one saw us that evening as we must have gone from the gardens to his bedroom. I find that very suspicious because at least the guards should have seen us but they swore that they hasn't seen either of us._

_No one heard anything._

_We just kind of disappeared from the gardens and reappeared in his bedroom._

_The both of us cannot recall what happened exactly we both lost our memory in the gardens, no one could tell us what was the cause._

_I don't want to go in too much details because it doesn't matter anymore. I believe Cailan that he never wanted this to happen. As he had claimed from the start._

_But we both think the same when it comes to who is responsible. Maybe this person was just innocent and they wanted to make him look responsible._

_The fact is we never found out anything to who might be responsible by evidence, there are only thoughts and possibilities._

_In the year that followed this event my life was turned upside down._

_I was given some herbs that I needed to chew every day. Those herbs were needed to make sure that a possible pregnancy would be aborted._

_Either someone gave me the wrong herbs or the child was too strong. I was still pregnant when the first signs showed up._

_I was horrified by the idea that I would be a mother soon._

_My father went to Denerim in person to bring the news to Cailan._

_I moved to Denerim by Cailan's orders, he wanted me to be close that he could quickly check on me that everything is alright._

_No one was allowed to visit me, except for Cailan and my parents. He wanted to isolate me for the time I was pregnant to keep it a secret as good as possible._

_And I just nodded and smiled! Everything that I felt or wanted to say I kept to myself. When I wanted to contradict I bit my tongue. That's everything that I do since. Only those that I trust know my real me. For all others I nod and smile._

_After 6 Months in Denerim I gave birth, it was a boy, blond, with blue eyes._

_Cailan was overjoyed, Anora not that much. I know that Anora hates me from the bottom of her heart. I cannot even blame her for hating me, because I think I would feel the same._

_After 6 Months Dyre was moved from the estate to the palace and was given in the care of a wet nurse._

_That meant I had to go to the palace to see my son. Anora waited every single day that I arrive to make insulting comments and gave me bitter and nasty glares._

_I couldn't take it any longer so I left Denerim and went back to Highever without my son._

_I should have defy her but I didn't had the strength then._

_Until now I never came back to Denerim, Cailan was a few times in Highever with Dyre but it is just not enough time to bond with me, we never told him. He knows that he has a mother but he doesn't know who it is._

_He will soon._


	10. Cuddles, or maybe not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgan told about her past, now it is Alistairs turn.

“I...Umm, I don't know what to say” Alistair said. He didn't know how to react. He stood up from his chair and went over to Morgan, he got down on his knees in front of her and took her hands in his and stroked the back of her hands with his thumbs.

“I don't know what to say”, he repeated. “If there is anything I can do to make you feel better you just have to say it.”

They sat there for some time in complete silence, Alistair still stroking Morgan's hands to give her comfort.

“How did they talked you into this?”, Morgan asked.

Alistair looked startled, “Why do you think...?”

Morgan snorted, “Because I am playing that game of politics my whole life. You really want me to believe that Cailan just asked nicely to marry me?”

“He did, in fact, but yes there is more.” Alistair admitted. “I.. uh, it is very embarrassing.”

“You don't have to tell me, if you don't want, I was just curious”

Alistair stood up from the ground and pulled Morgan out of the chair and hugged her, he held her as close as possible. He held her head in one hand and kissed her forehead, his other arm was on her waist to keep her close. He placed his forehead on the spot he just kissed and tightened his embrace.

“I want you to know that I love you and that I want to be here with you”, Alistair took a deep breath, “I say this now, because my story might upset you or could make you believe that it is not so. I just wanted to make that absolutely clear!”

He looked her deep in the eyes while stroking her hair. He moved his hand from the back of her head and stroked her auricle and then moved downwards to her jawline followings it to her chin, upholding it and stroke the chin bone with his thumb. He closed his eyes and kissed her soft and rosy lips. Almost immediately Morgan's muscles relaxed, only he managed to breach her guard.

He paused their kissing, “You are a wonderful woman, I hope I can make it happen that you can be yourself again. I am here and I will protect you!” he whispers.

He wanted to kiss her again as it knocked on the door. Matty came in without even waiting, sometimes that man acted like he owns the place.

“I am sorry, I didn't want to interrupt, but I thought that My Lady and My Lord might want a Coffee?!”, he asked cheerfully.

“Matty, you are nosier as is good for you!” Morgan scoffed.

“I just wanted to be a good caretaker!”, Matty replied gleeful as he exited the room.

Alistair looked inquiringly at Morgan and she just shrugged, “at least we have coffee now!”

“Well then I would suggest that we put the coffee-table in front of the armchair, I sit down in the chair and my beautiful wife sits on my lap and we cuddle for the rest of the day while I tell you stories about my boring life as a almost Templar.”

As suggested, Alistair pulled the table closer to the chair and sat down. Morgan walked to the other end of the room and opened the trunk that was standing in the corner. She pulled out two blankets and some cushions. She walked back and started to place the cushions around Alistair, than she sat sideways down on his lap her legs dangling over the armrest. She folded one of the blankets open and draped it around them.

“When you want to cuddle, then at least in a proper way!” she jested and placed her head on his shoulder.

“What did Cailan say about me? I just ask that I know what parts of the story I don't need to tell.”

“Sigh”

“What is wrong Love?” Alistair asked.

“Cailan told me nearly everything, how you grew up and slept in hay and how Eamon treated you as child and how he gave you to the chantry when you were 10 because Lady Isolde more likely believed in rumours than she believed her husband. If he ever told her at least.” She snorted in disgust.

“Eamon is one of those people that could be responsible for what happened to me, so when Cailan told me what he did to you, I was furious! I hate power hungry people that treat others as if they were nothing and just a pawn in their game. Some years from now and we are playing the same game as the Orlesians, ugh!”

“Don't be mad Love! You're more beautiful when you're smiling! And beautiful is always better as mad, isn't it?” he breathed in her ear and kissed her on her cheek.

“You call me Love!?” Morgan asked flustered.

“Yes, I did, does it bother you?” Alistair looked questioningly.

“No, it's just that I...” Morgan blushed, “I am not used to be called those things. It feels somewhat embarrassing, but I like it”, Morgan looked embarrassed down and was now nearly scarlet.

“You look even more beautiful with that blushing around your nose, my Love!” Alistair laughed then kissed her softly.

“I could kiss those soft lips of yours for hours”

“I will not stop you!” Morgan whispered.

Morgan withdrew her legs from the armrest. And sat down astride on Alistair's lap. She took his face between her hands and kissed him impetuously. Alistair placed his hands on her hips and pulled her as close as possible.

“I think I should start with my story before I forget everything. Although I would prefer other things.”

“I can imagine”, Morgan replied. “I am not going anywhere so maybe we can continue later?”

“Try to stop me!” he grinned. Then his face went dark.

_About my time with the Templars, there is not much to say in fact. I was trained as a warrior and I was quite good at it. The revered mother didn't like me much, sometimes without reasons and sometimes she had more than one._

_I was a rebellious young man. Because of that and Cailans help, I am not longer bound to the Templar-order._

_I found out later that the monastery where I was “locked up” was one of the worst to be._

_I fell in love with a Templar recruit, in that time I was much calmer, still a rascal but not rebellious anymore. The feeling of being loved was … I cannot really find a word for it. To have someone that cares for you, even if you're rebellious, it meant everything to me._

_We were careful the whole time because we knew when someone finds out we would be punished and because of my involvement the punishment would be much harder as for anyone else, I just knew it._

_At some point kissing wasn't enough anymore, we yearned for one another. It became nearly painful because we must restrain ourselves._

_We tried to find a place where no one would find us, there were some spots at the monastery so we started to keep watching which spots would be best to meet. We waited months for that night..._

His voice crumbled and he wasn't able to finish the sentence. Tears were falling silently from his eyes, he wiped them away but they keep coming.

Morgan guided his head to her chest and started stroking his hair.

“If you cannot speak about it, that's ok! I Didn't want you to feel terrible!”

“I think that you need to know. Can you hold me like that while I continue?”, Alistair asked with a sad voice, while he wrapped his arms around her waist to keep her as close as possible. “I wouldn't have thought that it would be so hard to talk about all this.”

_We really wanted to make sure that no one would notice what we were up to._

_At night the gardens were very dark so we decided that we would meet there, at the rear end stood a big weeping willow, which would give us even more invisibility. We were far enough away from every building._

_In that night we sneaked out of our rooms into the garden, we didn't wear anything what could make a noise._

_When we stood under the willow we nearly immediately started to get off our clothes while kissing._

_We lay down on the soft moss that grew there and were kissing and pleasuring each other for some time. We even were absolutely quiet that if someone would pass by couldn't hear us._

_It was the first time for the both of us, so it was sometimes very hard to keep your mouth shut but we were successful. I never felt anything like that, I didn't wanted this to end. I wanted to stay there forever, with him._

_Then we heard them, this specific scraping and squeaking noise that comes from Templar armour. In that moment I knew that they would find us and they did, we even had no time to put on our clothes._

_Ten Templars stood there, watching us sit there completely naked, we were separated and brought back to the dormitory, we still were naked!_

_They did this on purpose they woke up all recruits and Templars, at least I think they did because they all were watching as we walked down the corridor._

_They wanted to humiliate us in front of everyone._

_We were placed in different cells and I never saw him again._

_After two days they brought me to the revered mother who immediately started to give a sermon how corrupted and depraved I was. I didn't listen, I heard that too often to even care any longer._

_When she finished she told me that she had send a summary of everything I have done to the grand cleric to ask for guidance what she should do with me._

_The grand cleric must have gone to Cailan and he managed to get me out of the order, I am thankful because I am certain that the revered mother would have chosen the worst for me._

_I was transferred to Denerim as a prisoner to make it look as a punishment. Since then I am here in Denerim, that's nearly 2 years ago. I was introduced in the basics on court etiquette._

_Most of my time I was in the library because I didn't had much to do._

“I feel sorry for you, that is awful!”, Morgan pulled him even closer to her chest. “Did you never try to find out what happened to him?”, Morgan asked.

“No, a few days after I arrived in Denerim I received a letter that he is dead. I don't know what happened and how it happened. I cried for days. I couldn't think of anything else. I lost everything I ever cared about. I was lost until I met you. When I looked into your eyes I could see the same sadness and pain I had to endure. That's the reason why I finally agreed. I was one of the guards that accompanied you from the Gates to the palace. I wanted to see you first.”

They both sat there for a very long time, comforting one another for their painful pasts.


	11. my not so perfect wedding ( Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their weddingday finally came but it was accompanied by desaster.

“Wake up my love! It is time!”, Morgan whispers in Alistairs ear.

“Five more minutes please!”, Alistair begs.

“Those five more minutes are 30 minutes past!”, Morgan says decisively. “Besides, it would be very bad to be late to your own wedding!”

“Sigh, I am tired because of my soon to be wife who needs much attention at night!”, Alistair jested.

“It doesn't matter! You need to get up and out of the bed or I will task Matty to wake you up and believe me when I say that you don't want that!”, Morgan grinned, climbed on the bed and kissed Alistair. “I need to go now! I love you!”, Morgan said and got out of the bed again and left the room.

Alistair laid down again his arms crossed behind his head. Everything happens so fast that he sometimes has problems to remember things.

Six months ago he was fighting with Cailan because he was supposed to marry Morgan and now he loved that stubborn woman more than he ever could express.

“It could have been much worse, we could have hated one another.”

“But she will kick my ass eventually.” He forget to tell Morgan that Cailan will make some announcements this evening and he didn't told her this on purpose because she would not be pleased. She had enough to worry without knowing those announcements. Even if she would want to, she can't change anything about it.

He got out of bed and grabbed a shirt and some pants. He needed to bath first, his new clothes should be already in the bathroom, at least Morgan told him when he was still half asleep.

His bedchamber was at the end of the corridor and the bathroom at the other end, so no chance of just running naked into the bathroom, sigh, he had really no motivation this morning.

He got dressed and walked to the bathroom. His bath was already prepared as he got there, so he undressed himself again and climbed into the bathtub.

He closed his eyes and tried to relax he was very nervous but also excited. It started as a arranged marriage and became a marriage of love. Since the day they told each other their pasts and pain they grew even more together.

He sank further into his thoughts while enjoying his hot bath.

…

When he woke up again the water in the tub was nearly cold, it was not his intention to fall asleep. He even hadn't that much time to be lazy. He should better hurry now.

He took his clothes from the a little table and started to dress himself as the door swung open and Matty jumped into the room cheerful as always.

“Can I help you with anything my lord? You're already late!”, Matty said with a little bit of sarcasm in his voice.

“No Matty, everything is fine.”

“As you wish my lord!”

When Alistair arrived months ago he wondered how it was possible that Matty could act like he did. For a human caretaker this would be considered impertinent, for an elf it would be looked upon even worse. As he couldn't suppress his curiosity

any longer, he asked Morgan why he was allowed to act like that.

Morgan started laughing and Alistair stood there as a fool because he missed the funny part, obviously.

“Well when he can fool you for months although you live here, then he is doing his job well I guess.”, Morgan explained, “He is our bodyguard and somewhat of a spy, he needs to be curious. That's why I was always jesting when I caught him.... OH and he is a assassin.” Morgan closed. And suddenly everything made sense to him.

Alistair was now dressed, at least in his undergarments. Cailan gave him a honour guard armour and asked him to wear it to the wedding.

Cailan would have liked it more if Alistair would wear the Theirin family armour, but up to now no one knew who he was, so it was not possible.

By the thought of it he started grinning. Morgan wanted to wear armour too, her parents didn't want to hear any of it. Lady Eleanor had brought a tailor to the estate for a wedding gown. She looked the whole time at him with an expression like “Please help me!”, but he just grinned amused.

Although he has never seen her in a gown he knew that she must look great in it with her well formed body. He groans, followed by a heavy sigh. He should stop thinking about those things or his pants are going to be too tight the whole day.

Now that he was finished lacing his pants he walked out of the bathroom to go back to his room, as he passes the bannister he sees someone standing in the hall.

“Hello, can I help you?” Alistair shouted from upstairs.

“Thank you my lord, but your caretaker already takes care of the matter” the man in the hall replies.

Alistair didn't know why but something about that man made him curious, so he walked down the stairs into the hall.

He held out a hand as a greeting gesture, “I am Alistair, nice to meet you”.

The man smiled upon this nice welcome, “ I am Duncan, commander of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden. Nice to meet you too Alistair.” Duncan watched Alistairs face closely, as if he was memorizing it.

“ I am sorry that I had to let you wait for so long Duncan! It is the most inconvenient of all the days you could have chosen!” Morgan said.

“Yes, I already heard it from your caretaker, I am sorry but my duties have kept me longer from Denerim than I had hoped.” Duncan replied.

Morgan was now next to Duncan and greeted him.

“Let us go into the salon, there we can talk! She showed Duncan the way, “ I am back in a moment, take a seat if you will.” She closed the door to the salon and walked up to Alistair who was just staring at her.

“If you don't close your mouth soon, it will stay like that!”, Morgan jested and wrapped her arms around his waist.

“You just look stunningly beautiful! If I hadn't fall for you already, I would do that now for sure! That make-up and jewellery suits you really nice and you're not even wearing your gown yet but only pants and a shirt.”

“Oh, so you are a charmer now I see!”

“No my lady, I am just the most honest person you will ever met!” Alistair grinned from ear to ear while he said it and Morgan blushed because she could not counter this argument any longer.

“Aww, there is that blush around your nose again that makes you even more beautiful!”, Alistair kissed her passionately.

“AHEM”, Matty cleared his throat, “I hate to interrupt, but time is fleeting and my lord is not even close to ready yet!”

“Help Alistair with his armour please, while I talk to Duncan.”

“Of course my lady!”

“Thank you Matty!” Morgan turned around to face Alistair again and pressed a kiss on his cheek and slipped through the door into the salon.

“I hoped you wouldn't come to be honest.”, Morgan started the conversation.

“I swore an oath, as did you, we are bound to those, are we not?”, Duncan asked.

“I have nothing to do with your oath, my oath says that I cannot tell him that his mother isn't dead, nothing more!”, Morgan replied agitated, “No one can make me give him up! If you want to invoke your right, then go on, but you will never have my blessing to do so!”

“Please my lady, his mother wished him to be a grey warden”, Duncan replied in a calm voice. “I watched him his whole live and tried everything to keep him from harm because his mother asked me to. I needed to wait until he is old enough to recruit him and I wasn't there as he needed help, I know that and I am very sorry.

“I am sure Eamon would say the same if I would blame him for putting a young boy into a monastery because his wife had issues. I am also sure that King Maric would be sorry to give him to Eamon in the first place, but you know what Duncan?”, Morgan was fuming, “No one of you ever considered even to ask him nor even to think of what he wants or what he may think is best, everyone of you made decisions for him that were convenient for yourselves, never for him. So please excuse me that I give nothing to the wishes of anyone but his own!” Morgan turned around and walked with fast steps to the door while she opened the door and before she left the room she told Duncan to wait while she would ask Alistair to talk to him.

As she stood outside of the room she needed some moments to collect herself, she was shocked about herself, she lost her temper in front of Duncan, that didn't happen since years to her. She never lost her temper before others that aren't close to her.

She knew how deeply she loves Alistair, she didn't want to lose him but she didn't had any rights herself to prevent Duncan from conscripting him into the grey wardens.

She tried her best to setup a neutral face while she walked up the stairs to his room. It would be better if he thinks that she doesn't care for him enough to even shed a tear. No! If I feel like crying, I should. He should see that I care! He needs to know that someone cares for him.

She knocked on the door and Matty opened nearly immediately.

Alistair stood in the middle of the room in shiny armour, smiling at her.

As he walked up to her his smile faded, he could see that Morgan was trying very hard to stay calm.

“What in the makers name happened?!”

Morgan tried to answer but wasn't able to speak immediately, after a few breathes she was able to talk again, “Duncan wants to talk to you, he is in the salon.”, her voice was merely a whisper she couldn't control her voice nor her face or feelings anymore, with the last bits of strength she had she told him, “Please go to him, we don't have much time!”

Alistair left the room to go to the salon. As soon as Morgan heard the door to the salon closing she broke down to her knees weeping bitterly.

Matty jumped out of the room and ran to her bedroom to alarm Lady Eleanor who was waiting for her daughter to return.

A few moment later they were all at Morgans site try to comfort her, no one knowing what had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I for myself consider this one of the best chapters because I made myself cry although I know the story.  
> I am glad to hear what you think!


	12. my not so perfect wedding ( Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Alistair become a grey warden?   
> Or can he marry Morgan?
> 
> OK,OK I know it is absolutely obvious, but I tried! Really! Hard! I swear!

Lady Eleanor cradled her daughter in her arms, she still was weeping and couldn't say a word, when she tried to speak her words were indefinable gibberish.

Matty told what was said and happened but couldn't make any sense of it.

“MATTY!!”, everyone in the room looked astonished by the force in which Alistair called his name.

Matty ran out of the room as quickly as he could and around the corner, down the stairs.

“Matty, please give Duncan everything he needs and then escort him to the door, I am sure he has much preparations to make. While I will try to fix this awful wedding day.”, Alistair concludes.

As he took the first step up the stairs, he already heard her cry, he took several steps at once to get up that stair as fast as possible. As he walks into the room all maids were sitting in a nearly perfect circle around Eleanor who was holding Morgan in her arms cradling and comforting her, She is crying too, probably because she doesn't know what's wrong with her daughter and Morgan is not able to express herself.

He took a few steps into the room and got down on his knees. He reached out with his hand and stroked he cheek, “Don't cry my love, everything is fine!”.

Morgan stopped crying, but she still was heaving, “Leave me be, I just want to try to forget you and pretend I didn't care!”

“What are you talking about my love?”, Alistair frowned, “He didn't conscript me, he told me that he wanted to force me but your plea made him change his mind. “

Morgan sat upright now but was staring at the ground, “ You're not leaving?”, Morgan asked thin voiced.

“No, I will not leave you, not now nor ever!”, he moved closer to her, laying his arms around her shoulders, pulling her close.

Lady Eleanor made a sign, she and the maids got up and left the room silently leaving them in their togetherness.

“What did you told Duncan that he was that impressed?” Alistair whispered.

“I told him that your whole life was shaped by others without anyone caring for you and your wishes and that he would do just the same to you when he would force this upon you.” Morgan explained, still weary from her crying earlier, “I asked him that he at least ask you if you want this, only then I could accept it for myself.”, tears were reappearing in her eyes as she kept talking, “I didn't want to loose you, but I knew that there was nothing I could do to prevent him from conscripting you. The thought of it made me frantic. I could not bear the thought of losing you”

Alistair kissed the top of her head and gave her a warm hug. He picked her up and carried her to the armchair that stood in the corner of the room. He sat down and placed her on his lap where she curled herself up against him while he placed a blanket around her.

“I should go into my room and get ready”, she said with a weak voice.

“No, you need to calm down a bit more my love! They will wait for us! To be honest, they have no choice than to wait, it is after all our wedding and the ceremony will not start without the bride and groom! So I am very confident that we have time.”, Alistair smirked and tightened his embrace to keep her as close as possible to comfort her.

Both were fully unaware that someone was watching and listening from the shadows outside the window. The figure liked what was said and smiled before leaving.

Moments later the entrance door flew open...

“Eleanor?... Morgan?... Alistair?... Is someone here?” , Bryce wondered where they were because it was already late.

Shortly after his calls Eleanor appeared at the bannister, “ A grey warden was here and wanted to recruit Alistair after Morgan talked with him. Morgan was devastated I couldn't calm her down. They are both in Alistairs room.”

While Eleanor explained what had happened Bryce walked up the stairs. He knocked at the door and entered.

He saw his daughter curled up against Alistair, she looked so fragile to him, the last time she looked like this she was 16 and didn't wake up for nearly 4 days.

“She will be fine, she just need a few more minutes to calm down, my warrior-princess!”, Alistair chuckled.

Morgan moved her body in a more upright position, “We should now try to get ready” , Morgan remarked calm without any emotion.

Morgan stood up but she was a little shaky. Alistair held her and carried her into her room, he placed her on a chair and kissed her forehead. “I will be in my room if you need me my love, just call for me!”, he smiled , “ I will ask Matty to prepare a strong coffee for you!”, he kissed her again and went out of the room that Morgan could prepare herself for the wedding.

Matty stood already outside her room, “Can you please make a strong coffee for Morgan?”

“Of course My Lord!”

“Thank you, Matty!”, after that Alistair returned to his room where Bryce was waiting for him.

“What exactly happened here?”

“Even I don't know the details, Bryce, just some pieces that Morgan told me. Duncan came here and asked to speak to Morgan and I went with Matty upstairs to put my armour on. When I was just a minute maybe done with the armour she came in, I first wanted to joke that her prince is finally ready but I saw that something was very wrong. I cannot say what her face looked like, I saw everything between emotional pain and devastation, She tried to stay calm, but she was bad at it, she didn't say anything, just that I need to go and speak to Duncan and that I did.”

What did Duncan want and what did he say?”

Duncan told me that he was adamant to recruit me, because he knew my mother and as he said promised her to recruit me when I am old enough and suited.

He claimed to have watched me my whole life but wasn't capable of helping me. He wanted to recruit me when I was send away from the Templars, but he wasn't fast enough and so Cailan got me out of there.

I was never supposed to meet Morgan in the first place, I am considering myself lucky that I did.

Because there is a threat now he came back to finally recruit me, but didn't consider that Morgan would made him feel as guilty as she did.

She told him how miserable my life was because everyone claimed they would do “the best” for me.

She ended her plea with the words that he at least should consider to ask what I want instead of assuming what is best for me.

He did ask me instead of just conscripting me as he could have done. I declined his offer, but I promised that I would aid them as good as I can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be eventually E rated ( but I am not sure yet) and it will be a chapter about Aedan and Rory because I neglected them the whole time.


	13. Do you want to marry me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aedan is teasing Rory because he loves to do that and in the end he asks to marry him.

“I would love a hot bath now!”

“With or without company?”

“I would like to say without, but I know that it is not going to happen.”

“I am too easy to comprehend I guess!” , Aedan smirked, I will arrange that and ask for the big bathtub.

“Try to ask when Nan isn't around, she will get a heart attack from us an our antics. She needs a bit more time to get accustomed to some things.” , Rory grinned.

“Yes, I know, she already saw me with a young and beautiful girl smooching in the gardens..., ugh. At least we don't have to hide any longer, now that Mom knows what is going on. Now I can smooch a beautiful man instead, that's much more appealing to me!”, Aedan noted, “Well, I am off then to organize our bath!” He blew Rory a kiss and winked while he left the study.

Rory sat back in the chair, he had maybe an amount of 30 minutes of work left, then he could call it a day and enjoy his bath.  
Everything was so much easier now, a week ago they received a letter that the Teyrna knows and by the words that were written she did took it better as they all had thought.

When Morgan was back in Highever he and Aedan need to do something to show their appreciation, because Morgan was in fact the reason why no one ever was aware of them. She was very close with her younger brother and Rory was her best friend so it was usual to see them together.  
Even when Morgan was made commander no one wondered why Rory and Aedan always had the same guard duty, Rory smiled, she always got our backs.

It wasn't fair, she was the nicest and benign person he ever met, why must they always suffer the most? Her father had high hopes for her until her 16th birthday.  
Why didn't he watch her? Instead he was on the battlements, with her brother. It took him long before he was able to look her in her eyes again, he had sworn her to protect her from everyone and everything and when she needed him most he was kissing her brother.  
He felt that dreadful guilt again creeping upon him. She never had and never would assume that it was his responsibility. He knew that but feeling guilty and being guilty are not the same things.  
It was even worse when she came back from Denerim, his best friend was completely gone. She was torn apart and as a result not able to feel nor show emotions. Hard as stone and cold as ice.  
It took them months to even make her show a little implied smile.

They had a soap-maker in Highever, she was very popular in fact because she had the most fragrant soaps and oils. Rory and Aedan went to her and asked her to make something special for them that they could give Morgan to sooth her soul. And so they hatched a plan, Rory and Aedan would gather all the ingredients they wished to be in the soaps and oils and the soap-maker would process everything.  
Outside the village were big fields with high grass and tons of different wildflowers all with their own special scent. They were very often here when they were younger running around and enjoying their lives, Morgan often just lay there sniffing the different scents and dreaming, they wanted to bring back those better times for her.  
They picked all the flowers they could find and placed them in a linen bag. They gathered much lavender but also sage, wild growing roses and lilac. And then they found thistles in a vibrant but soft purple. Morgan loves thistles, so they picked as much as they could carry, they had scratches all over their arms, some of the scratches were bleeding, but they didn't care.  
They brought the flowers to the soap-maker, afterwards they placed the thistles everywhere in the castle that she always would see them when she walked past them, at least for some days.  
Although her mimic was motionless, they could see the gratitude in her eyes. With those things they could bring her back in small steps until she was herself again, alas with deep scars on her soul.

“My heart? You're thinking about her, aren't you?”

“Is it that obvious?”, Rory sighed, “ I am afraid that something, or more likely someone, will hurt her! I cannot get those thoughts out of my mind.”

“She wrote a letter that Alistair is a very nice and charming man. My parents confirmed it, so I don't see why you worry? I know your feelings for her, I know that you love her as a sister. I don't know what to do to bring your mind at ease!”, Aedan said with a sad look on his face.

“It is just, …, it feels like something is going to happen and it will be very bad, but I am not able to put my finger on it. This feelings are gnawing at my nerves!”, Rory explained worried, “You know that I am feeling guilty what happened to your sister! And yes, I know what you are going to say now, please spare me! I know that it wasn't my fault but it feels just like that.”

Aedan bended down and kissed Rory's temple, “ I suggest that we finish that awfully boring paperwork, then I can do some very relaxing things while you enjoy a hot bath.” , he whispered flirtatious.

Rory groans, “Please no teasing while I need to concentrate! You know how that always ends!”

“Yes, with me pinned between you and the hard stone wall and breathless kisses, can't say that I disliked it whenever it happened!”, Aedan had an impish grin on his face while speaking those words. He knew that he could tease Rory further with this and he also knew that Rory loved it when Aedan teased him.

It knocked on the door and a servant came in to inform them that their bath was nearly ready.  
Aedan closed the door and leaned against it.

“Everything's done for today”, Rory said, stood up from the chair and pinned Aedan between him and the door and kissed him.

“I need to ask you something!”, Aedan said between kisses.  
Rory kissed him one more time and then let go of him.

Aedan looked nervous now, he took Rory's face between his hands and kissed him while Rory hugged him, one arm on his upper back the other arm around his waist.

“Do you, … , ahem, do you, … , want to, … marry me?” 

“What? Are you serious? What about your parents?”

“Schhuschh! Too much thinking my heart!”, Aedan smiled.

“I owe them everything!”

“I know my heart, but it is fine I already asked my father!”

“My father is just a minor Lord and you are the son of a Teyrn!”

“But you're still everything to me, so you might stop arguing my heart!”

“Yes, I , … would like to marry you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well the next chapter is an E rated chapter then ^^


	14. two souls, one mind - two hearts, one beat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory gets his bath and more...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where is the E part?  
> I don't know.... upcoming?  
> But you said....  
> Yes I know! Sorry!  
> Will there be a E chapter?  
> When these two men going to stop giving me fluff vibes, then I might be able to write more spicy things!

“Would like?”, Aedan repeated grinning.

Rory groaned, than sighs, “I am poor with those things! I am sorry!”, Rory cleared his throat, “Aedan Cousland, I love you more than you ever could imagine, I am relieved that you asked me to marry you! I wanted to ask you so often, but I never dared!...”

They heard a knock on the door and let go of one another to open the door.  
The same servant as before stood there with a smirk to tell them that the bath was now ready.

Aedan placed his mouth very close to Rory's ear, “You go ahead and make yourself comfortable in the tub and I join you in a moment!” He kissed Rory's cheek and left the study.

Rory stood there for a few moments, processing what had happened in the last few minutes. He had so often thought about marrying Aedan but never said anything. But now, now he was betrothed. He smiled, he liked the idea but it was hard for him to believe it yet. He shoke his head to interrupt this thoughts, he was overthinking again. He shooed those thoughts away and made his way to his hot bath.

As he entered the room he found it completely empty, it was very odd because the servants normally wait until someone tells them that everything is fine. He didn't care he just wanted to enjoy the hot water and try to relax.  
He stripped himself from his clothes and climbed into the tub and placed his body as deep as possible into the water. When the water reached his chin and tried to stay in this position. The servants had placed 2 stools into the tub but he was quite tall, so he would have been with half his chest outside the water.

He closed his eyes and enjoyed the silence and dozed off.  
After some time he heard footsteps coming in his direction, he ignored it, it must be Aedan no other had reasons to be here. Someone entered the room, Rory squinted to see who it was, it was, as he suspected Aedan, who was rummaging in a basket that he brought with him. He closed his eyes again. Aedan placed some items on a table that was standing next to the tub. Rory squinted again because he heard the rustling of clothes.

Aedan was busy to take off his clothes and Rory watched closely, he loved that man and his long dark brown curled hair that reached down to his waist when he wore it open. When they lay in bed together he always found himself playing with his hair.

“Are you staring at my hair or at my hind quarters?”

“Maybe both!” Rory grinned, “You know that I adore your hair and well your hind quarters are right below the end of your hair, that's not my fault!”

Aedan was now naked too but he didn't climb into the tub.  
“Could you sit here in front of me?”, Aedan asked, “I want to pamper my husband-to-be.”

“Who am I to refuse such an offer?”, Rory turned over to the side where Aedan was standing and sat down on one of the stools that Aedan could reach him from behind.

Aedan took his head between his hands and tilted it backwards, “I am sure that you're going to enjoy it!”, Aedan kissed Rory softly and took a sponge from the table dipping it into the water and then rubbed it against the soap that had a scent of Sandalwood and spruce.

“Do you want to plunge your head under water voluntary or shall I use a bucket?”

“I have a better idea!”, Rory countered, “How about you coming here into the water an try to make me plunge my head?

That's very teasing but I have to decline!!” Aedan replied demure, “As soon as I put a foot in that tub a hungry beast will drag me into the water, overwhelm me and will do unspeakable things to me!”

“I will absolutely do that to you!”

“See! I want to do other things first! Now please dunk your head under water!”

Rory did as Aedan had asked and sat down again. Aedan took the soap and rubbed it between his hands until it was foamy enough and started to wash Rory's hair and massaging his head. Rory gave in to the tender caress and closed his eyes. He started to massage his forehead, his temples, the cheeks.  
Aedan felt that Rory was in deep relaxation, that was exactly what he was aiming for. Aedan got closer to the tub that he can lean Rory's head against his navel.

“Don't fall asleep my heart!”, Aedan whispered.  
“That is very difficult in the current situation, you seem to have some kind of magical hands!” Rory murmured.

Aedan worked his way down to Rory's neck and shoulders, he took the prepared sponge to wash Rory's chest, then massaging it with his hands. Aedan continued with the arms and hands and ...stopped.

Rory moaned in displeasure, “No, please don't stop!”, he begged.

Aedan moved close to Rory's ear, his voice was less than a whisper “And what would you give me when I continue?”, he asked.

“I would give you one of my innermost kisses!?”, Rory looked at Aedan with puppy dog eyes.

“Fine, I am feeling generous today!”, Aedan smirked, “You're irresistible my heart!”

Rory's upper body and arms were now very slippery because of the soap, Aedan didn't apply it sparingly after all. He started massaging Rory's shoulders, expanding the massage to his arms and finally his hands. He intertwined his fingers with Rory's and moved their hands in front of them resting on Rory's chest, squeezing his fingers slightly. He kissed Rory's nose because nearly everything else was covered in soap. 

When Aedan squeezed his hand he felt that something wasn't right, there was something on his finger that wasn't there before. He moved away from Aedan and pulled his hand back and took a close look at his hand and was shocked, frowned, pinched his nose. He first started sobbing, then crying.

Aedan climbed into the tub and hugged Rory, “I am sorry, I didn't want to make you cry, to be honest, I thought that it would be a brilliant idea!”

“Why?”, Rory asked still sobbing.

“Because I can say, promise or pretend everything that you want to hear from me and I know that you're going to think to much. So I wanted you to have something that you can take with you. wherever you will be you will know that I am not pretending, but that I am very serious about us!”, Aedan said calmly, “I wanted to wait for your answer before taking the next step. I already wrote a letter to father and Morgan that you said -yes-”, now Aedan got teary-eyed too, “I asked if it is possible to marry when they are back in Highever. I want to marry you as soon as possible. I am no fool, we are on the verge of a war and it's safe to say where you will be then and...”

“You don't know that yet!”, Rory countered defensively while looking Aedan deep in his eyes.

“You want me to believe that you will not follow my sister into battle when you are her second?”

“Yes, because she will be a princess when she is married and it doesn't matter if anyone knows or not. No one will send her into any battle as a commander!”, Rory explained.

Aedan hummed.

Rory submerged into the water to get rid of the soap and got up on his knees, Aedan came closer and did the same.  
Aedan became flustered, “The ring is engraved, I wanted to ask you, but I would have given away my plan so I tried to imagine what you like.”, Aedan blushed while continuing, “ My engraving says – two souls, one mind -.”

Rory was deeply moved as he drew the ring from his finger to read the engraving: - two hearts, one beat -. He stared at the ring, then towards Aedan and back, he putted the ring back on his finger.

He placed his forehead on Aedan's, “The next time you want to make me cry, please just knee me in my guts, that's easier to handle for me.” He tried to laugh but tears were building up in his eyes again, but this time they were full of love and joy.  
He held Aedan's face in both hands and kissed him vivaciously. Aedan was somewhat baffled by Rory's eagerness because it was rather uncommon for him. Aedan more likely encouraged him to run riot every time. Aedan gave in to Rory's kissing. He tilted his head a little sidewards and jerked his tongue forward to first tackle and then tangle with Rory's tongue.

Rory interrupted the kiss to catch his breath, “ I guess my debt about that innermost kiss is now settled.”


	15. my not so perfect wedding ( Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alistair and Morgan get finally married! Yay!
> 
> *Edit: I found a cursed soul that wanted to beta this chapter, so here is the "better" version.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I placed an underage tag out of safety, in the story is stated very clear that before the age of 16 nothing happened except for one kiss. And I will keep it like that. Although I think that a person of 16 might/should understand what's going on plus the eventual consequences. So I just tagged it because legally seen it is underage. All other interactions between Aedan and Rory are in the present of the story, when Aedan is 18 already.
> 
> No beta read anymore, it doesn't make any difference because my beta reader decided to not do the read and just gave it back like it was good. So I will do my best to find all errors myself! :)
> 
> If you have any questions about this or in general, please ask! :)

Lady Eleanor placed her hands on her daughters shoulders and looked at her through the mirror, “Is everything alright, my girl?”, she asked.  
“No.”, Morgan answered bluntly, “...but they won't postpone the wedding I suppose?”

“No, all of Ferelden is here as if it were a royal wedding!”  
“It is a royal wedding, mother. Though, not everyone knows it!”

Lady Eleanor sat down on a chair that was placed next to the dressing table while one of her maids started braiding Morgan's hair around a circlet that was specially made for her wedding. Morgan protested that it was unnecessary, but her mother insisted that she wore it.  
The circlet had threes big blue sapphires at the front. The circlet itself was golden and all over engraved with delicate twines. It definitely was dwarven-made, so it had to be very expensive.  
She would sell it at some point and give the money to the hahren at the alienage in Highever. He could do much more with that money than she could do with this circlet.

But for now she had to sit still and smile, as usual.

“Since when did you know that your brother and Ser Gilmore are lovers?”, Lady Eleanor asked.  
“Sigh, does it matter, mother?”

“I am just curious. I already knew it as your father told me. I am no fool and certainly not blind!”, Lady Eleanor sneered.

“Aedan told me when he was 15, at that point he wasn't sure about his feelings and if it was even possible for two men to love each other. At my... my...”, Morgan swallowed hard, “ …16th  
birthday, they kissed each other for the first time.”

“What?! When Aedan was 15 then Ser Gilmore already was ...”  
“20, yes, Rory felt the same as Aedan did, but he knew that Aedan was too young and he kept his distance until Aedan was 16. Rory was fully aware of the consequences as Aedan did; and I always had an eye on them. In the end it didn't matter at all: They are still together and lovely to watch!”, Morgan smiled, “father told me that we will have a second wedding soon!”

“If Ser Gilmore accepts the proposal from Aedan at least.”  
“Oh, he will! I am certain of that. He will argue at first, but he will!”

The maid was ready with Morgan's hair and stepped aside that Lady Eleanor could examine her braided hair.  
She gave a hand signal and two maids brought Morgan's gown. The gown was made of heavy velvet in a dark blue colour, trimmed with a lighter blue coloured but also heavy velvet, embroidered with golden yarn.

“What an extravagance!”, Morgan thought and rolled her eyes, “I could have bought a dwarven armour for that money!”

The two maids dressed her. 

Lady Eleanor stood in front of Morgan, holding her hands. “Alistair is a very caring and loving young man. He will be a good husband”, she said.  
“I know that mother, it is just... sometimes it feels like it is too good to be true and then there are those lurking doubts..., oh, for pity's sake! Let us go mother, before I am stuck in those thoughts again.” With those words Morgan left her bedroom and walked down the stairs into the hall, where her father was waiting for her. Lady Eleanor was right behind her. 

“Now I will go to the chantry to let them know that you will be there soon.” Lady Eleanor gave her daughter and husband a kiss on their cheeks and left the estate.

“You have always been my little princess and now you even look like one!”

“I would have preferred an armour nonetheless!”, Morgan answered with a smile.

“Well, I tried to convince your mother, Pup, but I failed; as always. I have not the slightest chance against her!”, Teyrn Cousland said defensively yet smiling.

Morgan tucked her arm into her father's and they exited the estate.

“Are you nervous, Pup?”  
“It depends on the subject. When I think about the marriage itself, maybe a little bit, but I am actually more excited when I think about all those nobles gawking and gossiping; then I feel terribly uncomfortable. I am not accustomed to that and “Maker help me!” I even don't want that ever to happen. The absolutely worst part is that I will have to talk to them”, Morgan complained.

“Well you should keep Alistair close then, a problem shared is a problem halved.”  
“I am not convinced that it will be more enjoyable then, father!”

When Teyrn Cousland and his daughter came around the corner, the people of Denerim started cheering. Morgan blushed. She was totally confused and overwhelmed by the situation.

“Andraste's dirty socks! Where do all those people come from?”, Morgan asked puzzled.  
“The people of Denerim always gather around the chantry when there is a noble wedding. They like to watch because of the pretty clothes and gowns, the armours and shoes, the jewels of course and all of the gossip!”

She wanted to run; just get away as soon as possible! As if he had read his daughters' thoughts, Teyrn Cousland started running and Morgan with him. They ran through the gate which immediately closed behind them.

They stood in the parvis now and started laughing. “Do me a favour, Pup, don't tell your mother! She will kill me!”  
“I think she might kill us both!”, Morgan said, still laughing.

“You could have warned me about this huge crowd that was waiting!”  
“It would have made things just worse. You would have pondered on it for days. Your mother wanted to accompany you to the chantry at first, but I could convince her that it was my obligation to lead you to your new life! I knew that we would run for it!”, he said with the most radiant smile she had ever seen.

“We can go inside, when you are ready.”  
“Yes, let us go!”

They walked through the main portal. Two guards closed the heavy wooden double-wing door behind them.

“I don't know why, but I feel trapped out of the sudden!”, Morgan said.  
“I am very sure you're neither the first, nor the last person that will feel trapped on their wedding day!”

From her position she could already see Alistair. He was standing in front of the revered mother, fidgeting. He probably was as nervous as she was. She took a deep breath, took her chin up and started walking down the nave beside her father. 

Morgan fixated her eyes on Alistair who was now made aware that Morgan had arrived. Almost shy he looked up. When he spotted her, his jaw dropped, followed by a big grin.  
As a response, all the nobles looked at her. She could feel the glares as pinpricks on her skin. She held her smile, but every second it became more and more difficult. She could hear the comments about her hair, her gown, the colours and the golden embroidery. She tried to ignore those voices, those comments didn't matter to her. Let them have their gossip and jealousy.

They reached the altar, Teyrn Cousland placed Morgan's hand ostentatiously into Alistair's and took his place next to the altar, facing King Cailan who stood on the other side.

Morgan looked up. Alistair still had this big grin on his face which made her smile a bit more genuine. It was undeniable that Alistair was handsome, but when he smiled his charm complementary multiplied with his natural handsomeness. That alone was enough to fall for him, but when you allowed him and yourself to become close, you realised that there was so much more to see. She knew she could drown in that smile.

Alistair gave her a kiss on top of her hand, “You look stunningly beautiful!”, Alistair smirked.

They both turned around, as the revered mother started the ceremony. When their turn came, they spoke their vows together, then kissed. It felt like a cycle of routines. It was nothing a wedding should feel like. Finally, the chantry part was over. 

Yet, she still had to endure the banquet and the ball which was Cailans idea. He had told everyone that Alistair had been a good friend of him when they were young. Soon, they would fight off darkspawn, so it would be the last chance for a pleasant gathering.

Morgan knew that this was a downright lie. There was something up. She knew that Alistair knew more than he had told her. “UGH! Court games!”


	16. Queen's gambit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game of chess continues  
> Queen to a4

The chantry was nearly empty when Alistair and Morgan left. She didn't want to run with the bulk of the nobles. Although, that meant that she would be on display for the crowd that waited outside. It was the lesser evil still.  
Her parents already left for the palace to organize some “things” and they both weren't expected to be present for the next two hours at least.

When she arrived at the chantry with her father it was cloudy, only every now and then the sun came out, now, the sun was shining with nearly no clouds in the sky.

“Phew! Finally! Please remind me not to go near a chantry in the near future!”, Alistair said with relief.  
“I am sorry to disappoint, but my brothers wedding will be soon.”, Morgan answered with a smirk, “After that, we can manage to stay away from the chantry for some time.”  
“I hope I will survive that torture!”, Alistair acted and spoke theatrically, “I might die from too much chantry!”  
“I Will miss you sadly!”, Morgan replied sarcastic and placed a tender kiss on his cheek.

“Are you ready for the people of Denerim, my love?”  
“Yes, let us go!”

As they passed the gate, the crowd cheered up again, Morgan winced, she would probably never get used to this. She couldn't understand why so much people would wait here just to watch the wedding of a person they don't know and probably never will. 

The palace wasn't far away from the chantry, but when you're agitated minutes can feel like hours, she braced herself and started moving. Four city guards accompanied them.

“Look at the contrast...” “..beautiful velvet..” “...circlet braided in her...”  
“What a handsome man!” “...that wide chest...” “...and OH! So tall...”  
“She is broad in the beam...” “...easier to give birth...”  
“When he is that tall, I am curious about the constitution inside his smalls...”

Alistair blushed and Morgan needed every inch of her willpower to not start giggling, “Shall I tell them about your constitution?”  
“Minx!”  
“I don't know what you're talking about! I am pure and innocent as a dove, my husband!”, Morgan looked at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes and a grin on her face.

Alistair thought a moment about a payback for Morgan but couldn't find a good response. Then, in a flash of wit he knew exactly how he would repay her...

He clasped his arm around Morgans waist, she was startled and tried to push him away with her hands on his chest but he was quicker, his other hand was already at the back of her neck pulling her closer to him. Morgan looked into his eyes and knew immediately this was payback, now he had that twinkle in his eyes.  
He pressed his lips on hers first forceful but quickly softening as he felt that she gave in into the kiss. The crowd cheered up again, did he play with them? Did he do that on purpose?

“Well, now they have more gossip!”, he giggled, “Kissing in public, how shocking! They are going to look at you now, you 're the noble, just you watch!”  
Morgan blushed again, why was it so easy for him to make her blush? She gave Alistair a dab on his chest freed herself from his arms and walked away. He followed her immediately, grabbed her hand and tangled his fingers in hers until they were at the palace.

A few minutes later they arrived. There were only a few persons outside, that means that most nobles would be inside and probably waiting.  
Morgan squeezed Alistairs hand, “I don't want to go inside!”, She sighed.  
Alistair kissed the top of her head, “I am sorry, I can fully understand why you don't want to mingle with those people, but you cannot prevent it much longer.” He placed an arm around her shoulders, “Let us go inside, the sooner we go the sooner we're done!”

As soon as they stepped inside, they were surrounded, as expected, they talked to some of the nobles, tried to avoid some, trying to make their way to the gardens.

Morgan was surprised about the Orlesians that were present, probably some delegates send by Celene. Whatever the case, they were visibly uncomfortable to be here. 

After some time they finally reached the gardens, the sun was still shining, Morgan felt the sun on her skin soothing and warm. She closed her eyes and enjoyed every moment of it. She hadn't have much time lately to enjoy such triviality.  
Alistair led her to a nearby bench that stood between two rosebushes. They must have been watered not long ago, the smell of the roses was very intense but there was this earthy smell too. It took some sweetness away from the rose scent and made it more enjoyable for her. She could sit there the whole day, it wasn't possible of course, but if, she would.

“I will go and organize something to drink and maybe some snacks, do you want anything specific?”, Alistair inquired.  
“Anything that hasn't alcohol in it is fine for me. I am not hungry, so I don't need anything else”, Morgan replied.  
“You didn't eat the whole day, you should eat at least a bit”  
“Please, don't fuss over me, my mother is quite enough!”, Morgan countered.  
“Well, you should stop being stubborn then, I guess!”, Alistair disclosed.  
Morgan just huffed and turned her head away from him, with a little grin on her face, to let Alistair know that he has won, but she doesn't want to admit it.

A few moments later a servant informed them that Cailan wanted to talk to them, he turned around and both followed.  
At an enclosure they stopped and the servant gave them a sign to enter. It was not visible from outside, but the enclosure was huge.  
As soon as they entered Dyre ran up to them, both, Morgan and Alistair got down on their knees to greet the young boy.

At the same moment Anora stood up and left while giving Morgan a killing glance. “She still doesn't like me I guess.”, Morgan murmured mostly to herself.

She took Dyre in her arms and hugged him, it was nearly a month ago that she last saw her son, it pained her that she couldn't be there all the time. She failed him and it hurts her constantly, like a splint that is stuck in your skin, with every movement, you can feel it causing pain, not able to get rid of it.  
If she ever would be fortunate enough to have an other child, she would rather die than be forced to part with it. She would never run away again!  
Morgan lifted Dyre up and twirled him a few times around, he started snickering and yelling. When she stopped he clasped his arms around her neck and snuggled his head into her shoulder, she cradled him in her arms and walked over to the table where Cailan was waiting for them and sat down on one of the chairs.

“Please help yourself with drinks and food!”, Cailan said, then turned his gaze to Morgan, “How does it feel to be married?”  
“It doesn't make much of a difference I guess...”, Morgan answered, she took Alistairs hand and squeezed it as she continued: “...but the circumstance that I met Alistair changed everything.”  
“I am happy to hear it! I thought that you two would be a good match, but you can never be certain.”, Cailan acknowledged.

“This evening I will make some announcements! Alistair, did you tell her anything?”, Cailan asked.  
“No, I did not! I thought it would be best that she doesn't know.”  
Morgan first wanted to add something but restrained herself. She already knew that he hadn't told her something. Morgan looked down to Dyre, he had fallen asleep on her shoulder, it made her smile.

“Well then! You and Alistair will be busy for a while. A servant will bring you inside to change clothes.”, Cailan explained, while Morgan just looked confused, “Tonight, I will acknowledge Alistair officially as my brother, Dyre as my son and you as his mother. Dyre will become my heir. If he is to young when I die, his mother will become queen.”, Cailan ended looking at Morgan, waiting for a reaction.

“WAIT! WHAT? You can't be serious! Why would you want to make me queen?”, Morgan said those words in a high and loud voice, as a consequence Dyre awoke abruptly, and was not very pleased. She really didn't want it, but gave the boy to his nursemaid. On her lap he would probably don't have a good sleep.

“That is not negotiable, to be honest your role in this is the most significant if I die too early. You know how the nobles think of me, they think that I am weak, because they compare me to my father. I will never be able to be like him and I know that. However, no one will consider that a Cousland would be a poor ruler. Since centuries your family advises the crown. That's why I need you!”, Cailan confessed, “Anora is a good queen but she only considers things when they are beneficial for the nobility. I never heard that she did something good what only served commoners. Her rule is by that one-sided and cannot last long before the first uprisings. Our country is still vulnerable and we might face a blight. I fear that a disaster is at our doorstep, thus I cannot afford to make poor choices. I would have liked to make Alistair my heir but it would be worse for him, as it was for me. They would consider it to be a lie that he is Marics son, but even that problem I solved through you. You could make him king, either alone or at your side. He is through your marriage officially a noble now!”

“Does Anora know what you're planning?”  
“Of course not! I told her that I will acknowledge Dyre. She didn't took it well!”, Cailan admitted, “I don't know if your father told you, but there were talks some time ago. My advisors and I debated, well they debated, that I should ask the chantry for an annulment of my marriage with Anora to be able to marry someone else, I refused because I love her, I might disagree with some things that she did but that doesn't make any difference to what I feel for her. At this point I must hurt her but I hope, this is the least painful decision for her.”Cailan ended.

“I hope that you are aware, that you will possibly throw us to the wolves with that decision!”, Morgan questioned, “If it is true that you have to fear for your life, then they will hear who to get next.”  
“That's why you will go to Highever and stay there with Alistair and Dyre. Absolutely no one will dare to attack castle Cousland!”, Cailan assured.

Cailan accompanied them back inside through a side entrance. Morgan didn't know this part of the palace, she tried to reconstruct the structural design in her head to find out were they must be yet. Either they were in, or must be close to the royal wing.

“I will leave you now, the servants know what to do and when! You have enough time to rest if you need to. I will see you in the evening.”, Cailan wanted to leave, but then turned around again “I will tell the nobles that you didn't feel well and your husband need to fuss over you of course!” Cailan joked and left.

Alistair and Morgan followed the servants into a room, the door closed behind them.


End file.
